Jerry, you need to find god
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
