Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize