Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
