You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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