yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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