when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
