i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
