you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize