im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
