maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
