ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
