i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize