jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
