I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
