They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
