If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize