So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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