i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
