hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize