More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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