she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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