You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
