i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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