I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pants are for mortals
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
