i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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