Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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