i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
