"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize