Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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