I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
