Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
