tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think a kid would responsible me up
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
