He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also, beer. Big fan.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
