ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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