It's like God shit irony all over that family
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
