I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
