Plan B is the new Plan A
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
