Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it glows. i had to have it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize