Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
