It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
