i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
