Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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