I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
