I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
