My nipple is on Facebook.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
