do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
