this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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