i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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