What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He shit in the fireplace
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
