My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
