I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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