That's when you crack a 10am beer
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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