I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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