Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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