hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He passed out mid-signature
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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