Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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