so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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