We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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