I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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