I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
