I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think people are normalizing furries
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
