Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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