What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
