So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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