Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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