i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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